If love could save you, you would live forever

Yesterday, June 30, was an extremely sad day for the family. Our beloved pet, Kaiju went to doggie heaven. It is around 5AM now as I type. My eyes swollen and my lips are dry from crying.

We brought home Kaiju on Mother’s Day. Funny because since last year Aoki begged and begged to have a cat or a dog. Franco’s answer was always a firm no. Last April, my vet friend, Po-an, offered to give us her black shitzu, Meiji. He was a beautiful dog with complete shots but still it was a no. For Mother’s Day, my Lapinid family had a mini reunion in our suki resort, Casa Buenasuerte. As Franco was parking the car, he noticed that there were puppies in a cage. They were chabradors. Mom was a labrador. Dad a chowchow. And on the spot, Franco decided that we’d take one puppy home.

This is how love at first sight looks like.

We named him Kaiju which means strange beast in Japan. Kaiju is the collective name for the giants in TV and film like Godzilla, King Kong and, the big bad guys in Bioman and Power Ranger. We knew our baby would be huge because of his chubby chubby paws.

First order of business, how the heck do we bring home this dog? We got a muzzle so he could not bite. I placed towels on our laps so we won’t get scratched. DIYd a dog diaper in case he’d pee or poop. The trip home was uneventful. I held him. Talked to him like a baby. Hugged him like a baby and told him we are his family now. I expected barking, crying, biting, peeing and escaping. He sat quietly on my lap althrough out. I had scratches because his nails were long. Other than that, it was a peaceful first ride.

When we got to Paranaque, we paid a visit to a nearby vet clinic and pet store. Kaiju was almost 3 months and had not had a shot yet. First shot, check. Dog food, check. Chew toys, check. Collar and leash, check. Feeding bowl, check.

He immediately adjusted to life in his new home. On his first day, new sounds like Ryu running down the stairs or opening of the ref door woke him up from his sleep. After his first days, he got used to the sounds and motions. In a couple of days he was potty trained.

Oh Kaiju, I am missing you so much! You completed our family and now that you are gone, there is a long list of things we will miss about you.

Good night, bebe love.

• You are a kind, gentle easy dog. You sleep a lot. Lie on the floor a lot. You like lying by the door and people/car/dog watch.
• When we are in the living room, you lie beside the couch and we’d rub you with our feet. We both loved that. Your fluffy fur was like a soft relaxing carpet.
• Your favorite spots in the house are by the door, beside the sofa and under the dining table and basically anywhere you can feel the wind from the electric fan.
• So chill is how you are described by people who met you. You are not likot like your doggie BFF cousin, Pancake. You allow anyone to pet you and never ever attacked anybody. You hardly bark. The only time and maybe it was not even more than 3 times, I heard you bark was when it was past your meal time and we haven’t fed you.

Pancake and Kaiju

• You are an easy dog. Sleeping outside in your cage was not a problem. I was waiting for crying and begging. There was none. You patiently wait for us to wake up and let you out. No whining, no barking. Did you know that Kuya and Daddy lovingly repainted the cage?
• You take care of your cage. You never pee or poop in it. Inside the cage are your chew toy, a Tigger plushie from Ate Michiko and the towel we used to bring you home. And now when I look at the empty cage or your newly washed blanket and toys, I am reminded of the emptiness now that you are no longer here.

Kaiju’s toys and blanket

• Speaking of pee and poop, you always pee and poop in the garden. Usually, minutes after eating and drinking. But your absolute favorite place to poop was in our next door neighbor’s garage. hahaha. We had to DIY a border wall to stop you from going over Michi’s house. And now, we can take down that border because you are gone na. I wish we could keep that border forever, baby boy.

• I will never forget the day you discovered you could jump over the first border. You did and went straight to Tita Mae’s side yard. I think that was the happiest I ever saw you. I learned that you like being chased. You ran, looked over to check if I was looking and then ran. I love that excited jump and that split second eye to eye contact. It was as if you were saying, “habulin mo ‘ko”. How I wish I was able to take a video of you asking us to chase you. My baby I hope there a lot of wide open grassy lawns in heaven. Are you with Emily? If not, look for her. I am sure she will love running and rolling in the grass with you. Say hi to Lolo Jun, Lolo Ben and Tita Jojie for me.
• Every morning, you waited for me to go down the stairs. You greeted me good morning by licking my legs. I rubbed you and said hello. And then I’d go straight to the garden where the flies excited kiss my legs because of your laway. haha. Sometimes you sat beside me as I tend to my roses. Sometimes, you looked for a random item, an empty bottle, a slipper, a gardening tool, a sack of weeds, a plastic watering can and chew it. Sometimes, you’d just watch the dogs pass by. Baby boy, I will not miss the flies attacking my legs but I will miss your morning leg licks. (PS I shed a few tears as I edit and change the verbs to past tense since we will not go thru our morning ritual again)
• Thank you, Kaij, for not attacking my roses. Although, I think you learned your lesson na that Mommy gets mad when you hurt the plants. You saw how upset I was when you plucked and chewed on the black velvet plant that Tia Miling gave me. Look, Baby Boy, a day after you died, the plant you almost killed, gave me a brand new leaf.

• Sometimes, while Ate Doring, Ate Patty and I are in the garden you sneak outside and happily smell the pavement. Sometimes, I wonder if it is here where you got the parvo virus. If I see you happily sniffing, I invite you to walk outside. You know, Daddy justified buying you by telling me you will help him lose weight because you will be running together. Turns out, you are not a runner. Nor are you a walker. When you saw us holding your leash, you would go under the table where the chairs make it hard to get you. Or once the leash is on you, you’d retreat to your cage. You are soooo not a walker. I think you only walked once around the village. You only like walking on our street. You made Kuya Aki, who was in charge of bringing you to the vet, almost cry because you refused to move your butt. I am gonna miss your stubborn pwetish!

• My absolute favorite moment of you with a leash, was when Kuya Ryu would run and you are forced to run until you realized that you are having fun. I would shout, ” Run to Mummy!” and you two will run about 20 steps to me where I both reward you with rubs and hugs. I would do anything to get a video of that moment. Oh wait wait wait. Let me check if the village CCTV caught that.
• Did you know that Kuya Ryu was so jealous when we brought you home? He told me that he wants to be the only bunso. So we told him you are the bunso now but Ryu will also be the human bunso. haha.

• Ate Aoki was your official owner. It is her name that is in your vet forms. I will miss her “Aaaah bebe” whenever she gets gigil because of your cuteness. When she was spending too much time with her tablet, Daddy would tease and say, “Benta na”, meaning he’d sell you because she’s not taking care of you. Aoki would immediately drop her tablet and burst into tears. Before you left us, Aoki would tell me that she does not need a gift on her birthday because she already has you. We pray that our next dog will be like you. May he or she come into our lives effortlessly. May the doggie be gentle and sweet like you.

• You are so gentle that the cats are not scared of you. When you see a cat or a dog, you get curious. You would sit up and follow them with your eyes. In the morning, sometimes, you would sit by the gate and watch other dogs pass by. Sometimes, in 2 occassions to be exact, you got so curious that you followed a neighbor dog. I got the leash and we walked. But only until the end of the next block because, baby, you are not a walker.

First and only walk around the village

• On our way back home from our very very short walks, you sprint excitedly as if you had not been home for days. You are a homebody just like Kuya Aki. So low maintenance and so chill. Aki was not a dog person until he met you. It is the same with me. When I see a cute dog, I would admire it from afar and that is it. I would not want to pet or talk to the owner and get to know more about it. It is Aoki and Daddy who really really like dog. But you won us over, Kaijungjung. I wanted a dog for Aoki but I did not expect to love this fast, this hard, this much.
• Yes yes, you are the most gentle dog but you had your share of playbiting. You once bit Daddy’s crotch. ahahaha. The twins’ pwet. The hems of Aoki’s dresses. The gabi and oregano plants. I will always remember you when I see the holes your teeth left on our slippers. When we are sad, we will imagine you happily chewing all the slippers and plants on heaven’s gate.

I wonder when I will stop feeling sad whenever I wear my slippers

May the angels let you chew on the hems of their robes

• I have so many what ifs. My biggest regret is not taking many pictures and videos. Every time we were with you we were really enjoying each moment so taking pictures or videos was not a priority. We really thought we had years ahead of us. I mourn for the memories that I was looking forward to making with you. Our first beach and swimming pool. You hugging the kids when they get home from school. A joint birthday celeb for you and Daddy this August. Your first Halloween this October. Rolling on the grass in Bayog. Visiting your family in Casa Buenasuerte. Going to a park and meeting other dogs. Our first family photoshoot with you. Our first Christmas. Your first tricks.

Group pic fail

• Thank you, bebe boy, for being part of our family even just for a short while. You are the perfect first dog. I hope you felt how much we love you. If love could save you, you would live forever, baby boy. Please visit me in my dreams because Mommy misses you so so much. I don’t want to be sad anymore. I want to stop crying. Show me how to redirect this love and emptiness into something meaningful and useful. Watch over us, as we navigate life without you and look for another puppy to love. This is what lazy Sundays look like.

I wish you were part of this picture

• Aoki and Franco reading an encyclopedia about dogs. Aki practicing Ryu how to read. If you were here, you would be lying on the floor beside the sofa and my feet would be rubbing your belly, as I watch Friends.

One of your last pictures. look how much you have grown. The folks at the vet clinic were surprised when they learned that you are still a puppy.
You are not allowed to sit on the new couch so sometimes, when the kids are not minding you, you sit on the old recliner.

• Until we meet again, Kaiju. Run free. And if you still don’t want to run, that is ok too. Love you, my bunso boy.