Hand-Me-Downs are Love

Love Love. I was so excited when little sis handed me this big plastic bag full of Rocky’s old clothes last Mother’s Day. I told her a  few weeks back that Aki needs new pambahays and she gave me more than a dozen plus a lot more. Thank you so much, sis!

Before Aki was born, I already had 3 nephews. This means Aki is destined to wear hand me downs for the rest of his life! On the practical side, this is good for my pockets but I have been wondering. Does having a lot of pre-loved clothes and toys have long term effects on kids? Will they have ill feelings and grow up envious of those who have brand new clothes? Are they less attached to their possessions and become less materialistic?  Or are they more thankful? And what if baby number #2 will be a boy? He will be the fifth in line to the hand me downs!


34 thoughts on “Hand-Me-Downs are Love

  1. Well speaking from my own experience, ay wala pala akong experience. madamot yung older sister ko magpahiram or magbigay ng old clothes nya lalo na nung teenager kami kaya napilitan si mudra na ipagshsshopping nya kami pareho. hahaha. Si Rocky, twice pa lang namin sya ever nabibili ng new shoes. So yung first time , binili namin sya ng airwalk sa payless, talagang excited sya. suot nya for one week, kahit sa bahay lang at pinapakita nya sa lahat, proud na proud na sinsabi na binili sya ng daddy nya ng new shoes.

  2. Hi Maqui,

    I think moderation is the key, there shouldn’t be any insecurities (“kawawa naman ako”) if there is a nice mix of hand-me-downs and brand new clothes. You shouldn’t worry about baby #2 feeling bad about wearing Kuya’s hand-me-downs because you can always point out that see ? Kuya also wore hand-me-downs from other kuyas.

    Sean wears hand-me-downs too, Mom insisted that we have hand-me-downs raw from a healthy child. Ang kulit kulit nya, akala yata ayaw ko ng hand-me-downs. Yung mga families na kilala namin dito, mrami silang boys pero nahihiya sila magtanong if I wanted hand-me-downs nung buntis ako. Parang kung kani-kanino pa pinadaan yung alok nila kasi nga nahihiya sila magtanong and they thought that I’d like to have everything brand-new dahil first child raw namin.

    I think this practice instills good values – we don’t want our children to be snobs. Yung money na na save, sa anak rin naman natin mapupunta diba ? It can go towards education, a car, wedding, DP for a house, seed money for a business, etc… – and hey, even more Yakult =D

    • hahaha! natawa ako sa nahihiya magbigay ng hand me downs. sabagay, when you see expectant parents shoppingfor new stuff, baka nga hindi nila gusto ang preloved.
      Good point on the Yakult!
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts, jean!

  3. i grew up not getting any hand-me-downs kasi i’m the eldest apo sa mother side. but even if i grew up getting new clothes and shoes, appreciative naman ako sa mga things ko. in fact, mas maingat pa nga ako sa mga things na bigay sa kin rather than those i bought with my own money. kasi that’s how i show appreciation dun sa nagbigay.

    with hand-me-downs, mas concerned dito si Ryan kesa sa kin. when we were preparing for Lexie’s arrival, he was the one who wanted to get new bedding set sa crib ni Lexie even if we have an existing neutral colored one. kasi daw para naman mukhang pinaghandaan namin arrival ng new baby since lahat na ng furniture and baby stuff is hand-me-down na from kuya. he also encouraged me to shop for clothes for the little girl kahit na alam namin na may hand-me-downs kaming makukuha. ayaw nya daw na magmukhang kawawa si baby kasi puro napagliitan lang susuotin nya.

    my sister pala was raised wearing hand-me-downs. ngayon, shopaholic na sya. kasi daw deprived sya when she was young. as in bitter talaga sya 😦

    • Gracie! Are you coming to manila?!I want to see Kuya Dade and Lexie!
      Nakakatawa si Ryan. Akala ko ikaw yun super excited mamili ng pink stuff.

      • yes, next month!! was about to message you to come meet us for Dade’s birthday party. not sure kasi if you check your FB that often. will send you an invite ha.

        • Yey! We will be there. Hey, if you have time, Ms Benz wants to meet you daw. We can have triple playdate with Laya if you are free. 🙂

  4. Ako naman, I’ve been bitter about the fact that Raviv has never had a hand-me-down from a relative or a friend! Buntis pa lang ako, iniisip ko na, “Nakakainis, walang makukuhang pamana si Raviv, lahat bibilhin ko.”

    Oh yeah, his cousin Yoona (3 months older than he is) gave him hand-me-downs—yung pam-baby na shirt. But just after a week, mas naging malaki agad si Raviv kay Yoona, so mga one week lang siya nakapagsuot ng hand-me-downs.

    Personally, I love hand-me-downs! I’ve never felt insulted being given hand-me-downs. Sabi nga, Someone’s trash may be your treasure. Kaya I frequent treasure troves (aka ukay-ukay). And yes, I also buy Raviv’s clothes from ukay. Of course, I boil it for a long time, wash it with anti-bacterial detergent, and douse it with Ariel Antibac too.

  5. we received a lot of hand me downs even before alonzo was born. he still constantly received hand me downs even from cousins na girls — generic sandos, shorts, rubber shoes and toys. so far, wala naman syang pakialam bec di pa naman sya aware. on my side naman, i have a better appreciation for the things that we receive. i also realize that i have a greater tendency to take care of things. iniisip ko, alonzo was able to use this certain pair of,say, pants…and another child can still use and appreciate it.

    i hope even when he’s older he wouldnt mind using something pre-owned.

  6. Em says:

    Hi Maqui,
    Hand me downs are always welcome. Almost all of Akira’s clothes are given by her cousins. i think at their age hindi pa siya magiging issue sa knila. But pag lumaki laki cguro it would be better na pag yung isa binili ng damit, dapat bibili din yun isa.
    I must admit though that one point ako ang nagtampo. The other apo binili ng damit and si Akira hindi. Their reason: kay Akira daw nmn mapupunta yun eventually. hay.. i wish parenting books and the internet were available then no.

    • Hi, Em! I get your point. Same issue with AC. Tama nga naman, kung yun isa puro bago, yun isa puro luma, baka magtampo yun mas bata. kung solo child or walang ibang batang macocompare-han, ok lang siguro, pero kung dalawa sila na lagi magkasama, dapat meron ding bago paminsan minsan

  7. Walang effect and hand me down sa bata, si Kite puro hand me down kinalakihan niya maka mundo pa din ngayon! Tama si faye depends sa magulang hehehe.

    I think effect ng hand me down more sa parent kesa sa bata eh. It would matter to the kid only when they start liking clothes.

    Ako super duper kilig din ako receiving bags of hand me downs… ang effect sa akin if I like a nice dress tapos that person sends me her kids hand me down ok lang sa akin a bit more expensive kasi alam ko babagsak din kay Laya yung mga damit na yan. Tsaka if I like a dress tapos wala sa budget ko minsan napapabili ako kasi alam ko ginagamit talaga nung pinapasahan ko yung damit 🙂

  8. AC says:

    I think so. Coz I used to wear a lot of hand me downs from my Ate (she’s just a year older) tapos ayun.. Nung tumatanda kame parang insecure talaga ako na lahat ng gamit nya bago. I dont know if its just me o madaming ganun din ang feeling..

    • AC, thanks for sharing ha. I think mas nakakainsecure nga if one sibling has new clothes while the other puro pinagliitan. I heard from a friend na issue niya rin yan growing up.I hope kay Aki hindi niya masyado mafeel ang insecurity since di naman niya lagi nakikita ang cousins niya. Si baby # 2 ang inaalala ko. Thanks again for your inputs ha

      • AC says:

        Ganun naman ata talaga pag mga bata e.. bilan mo na lang din siguro ng new stuff si baby #2 once in a while. Ganun din minsan ginagawa sa amin ng parents namin. Lalo na nung pre-teens na kame kase nagkakaiba na kame ng taste. Masyado kase pa-girl yon at pasosyal.. wahaha. Anyway, pag naman nagmature na sila mawawala lahat yang insecurities.. ang mangyayari na nyan yung isang kapatid di na halos bibili for himself/herself, puro para na lang sa kapatid.. tulad ko ngayon. hahahahaha.

  9. sis (parang soul sisters na ata tayo wehe) i’m also a big fan of hand me downs. maia survived her 1st year with mostly hand me downs from maia’s cousins. to answer your question: i think it’s really up to us (parents) to teach our kids how to treat hand me down stuff. in my case, what i love about hand me downs (apart from of course the money we save from not having to buy clothes and shoes at all) is the thought that i’m partly helping save the world because i’m saving up energy to manufacture more clothes. parang leaving lesser carbon footprint (something to that effect). i also take this as an opportunity to make her appreciate the idea of sharing even more. and because we’re always getting a lot of hand me downs, we also give a lot to other kids kasi ang bilis bilis nga naman nila paglakihan ung mga damit. siguro to prevent them from feeling deprived treat mo na lang sa new clothes and shoes din from time to time. tipong let them know that if they really need it, you can buy them new ones naman talaga. 🙂 (haba na comment ko i hope i answered your question hehehe).

    • Good point, Faye! Pano mo pala ine-explain kay Maia ang concept ng carbon footprints.
      Maybe I should give Aki more opportunities to share our blessings para mas maappreciate niya rin when his cousins share their pre loved items to him. And yes, if they get brand new items once in a while, baka maiwasan ang insecurities. Thank you for your inputs ha! See you soon hopefully!

  10. Hi Sis Maqui! been reading your blog for the longest time but this is the first time I’ll comment. my mom told me na mas appreciative daw ang mga batang laki sa “hand me downs”, kesa sa mga batang laki sa laging bago ang mga gamit. mas maalaga daw sa mga gamit. un lang po. =)

    • Hi vengie. I remember you from w@w. You asked me before about dita sandico wraps.
      Thanks for the comment ha and for adding me in your blogroll. You made a good point. Oo nga naman, mas dapat sila maging maalaga sa gamit. Thanks again!

      • the pleasure is mine… nag-blush nmn ako sis Maqui that u still remember me. ako nga po yun… i wanted that sana for my entourage din, kaso expensive pala. tumaas ang bp ko!!! hehe…

  11. M says:

    Lia received a lot of preloved clothes from her cousins too. And like you, I so love it too. I guess by now they wouldn’t bother kasi di pa nila naintindihan. But when they grow up… hmmm.. onga noh? Will they care kaya? 😀

    • Marsy, read the other comments. I learned a lot from them. My pro’s and con’s nga.
      So kelan na ang playdate natin nina Maggie, em and Dew?

      • M says:

        Thanks Maqui. Pareho tayo, parang si Baby #2 ang baka maapektuhan. Kaya sana baby boy si second born ko, at baby girl ka naman. that way, for sure wala (or konti lang) ang hand me downs from their kuya and ate. heheh.

        Lia is big na, pwede na nga ang playdate. Lately, niyayakap nya ang mga kiddie boys pag nakikita niya (dapat ba ako ma-praning??). So matutuwa yun pag nakita ang mga boys nyo (lagot kami sa Daddy niya). heheh 🙂

        • haha. magandang plano yan. baby girl sakin, at baby boy sayo para swap tayo ng mga gamit. haha.
          planuhin na talag natin ang playdate! nagloloko lang ang FB ko, pero as soon as maayos, i will send a message sa inyo nina dew, maggie, and em.

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