Aki asks, “What is sex, Mummy?”

This was one of those days that I thanked God for sending mommy friends. I think it was last year when my college batchmate slash then-officemate slash mommy friend, Shar shared that her darling daughter asked the same question. Because Shar shared her experience, I was able to immediately  and confidently answer Aki’s question without panic or doubt.

My answer? Continue reading

Reblogging from the MommyJuvs Blog: Liam Meets Aki

Maqui:

One of the topics that I find somewhat challenging to document are playdates. There are just so many things that I want to say but I can’t find the right words and pictures to tell the story. So…… I am reblogging Juvvy‘s post on our first ever meetup.

We met thru blogging about a year or 2 ago.  Juvvy has been sending thoughtful gifts all the way from Cebu. Am so glad we finally got the change to meet personally. Because of our blogs, we skipped the awkward introduction part and jumped right to the chika part. We read each others blogs so we both felt that already know each other.

Juvvy captured almost everything I want to remember about our first playdate. There are just 2 that she missed. One, she gave the sweetest giftssss. So sweet that Franco whispered to me that our gift for them looks so cheap compared to what we got. Haha. Two, Juvvy and I plus our our hubbies, were partially stunned when we looked at the prices on the menu. And it just showed that we were very comfortable with each other because we talked and laughed about the shock brought by the prices. That is something Franco and I almost never do with people we just met. Unfortunately, transferring to another resto was not an option because the kids and the parmesan cheese were inseperable.

It was so nice meeting you, Liam,Dino and Juvvy!
Thank you Tita Ninang Leah for taking our pictures

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Originally posted on mommyjuvs:

Oh yes!! At long last, we were able to meet Familia Kiki during the holidays when we were in Manila (yeah, this is another late post.  Sowee).   Leah , my SIL, was the one who introduced me to their blog, and  I got hooked to their site ever since.  I even wished that we’re neighbors. Hehe

With only a few days in Manila, I was glad that they are also available on the date we set.  I’ve let Maqui do the planning (Thanks Maqui! :)) as this was the first time Liam (we) will have a playdate.  We agreed to meet in Book Sale MCS, since it was books that made us bond on the first place.

Am doubly glad that Leah is also available and offered to be the photographer that day (Thanks Ninang!!). hehe  I will not make this text heavy and will let the photos tell…

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Healthier Hashbrowns At Your Fingertips

Do you love hashbrowns? I do! I do! I do!
If only they were available for 24 hours and if only they don’t cost as much as they do, I would probably be munching on hashbrowns every blessed day.

A not so-close second to my top favorite potato list are french fries.I can eat them even if I am already full. I think the combination of salt and starch makes me crave them even if I know that fries aren’t the healthiest food in the world.

Good news to potato lovers like me. I just discovered a healthier version of hashbrowns. I am sooo getting a Noble Prize for this. You get the crispy-creamy combination but only using a tablespoon of butter instead of several cups of oil. My heart hearts me so! Whereas hashbrowns cost 25 pesos in fast food chains, I only spent 35 pesosesoses (cost of half a kilo of potato as of today), for 10 hashbrowns. But wait there is more. Lastly, no need to beat the 10AM cut-off for breakfast meals, because you can make hashbrowns anytime at the comfort of your own kitchen. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Please sit down.

Oh wait, this standing ovation that I am picturing in my head is making me feel guilty. To be 100% honest, the original  idea is not actually mine. A reader of Cook’s Illustrated shared in the Quick Tips section of the magazine that she knows someone who makes hashbrown using a secret kitchen appliance, the waffle maker. Yup! I looked for recipes online but the ones that I found were too complicated. I don’t have time to dry my grated potatoes nor am I willing to go out to buy several seasonings.

Without further ado….. here is my waffle hashbrown recipe…
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So this is how it feels to miscarry

So this is how it feels to miscarry
So this is how it feels to say goodbye when you did not even had the chance to say hello
So this is how it feels to love someone whom you will never get to meet
So this is how it feels to try to cancel your hopes, dreams and plans
So this is how it feels to be deliriously happy and then be suddenly indescribably sad
So this is how it feels to prepare yourself for bad news but actually hearing it still  felt like a dementor attack
So this is how it feels to hold back the tears when your heart feels like exploding because the doctor still need to take some measurements, because you still need to wait for the report, because the cashier is 5 floors down
So this is how it feels to thank God profusely for granting your prayers and then weeks after desperately asking Him to make the pain more bearable
So this is how it feels to not want to and not know how to answer, “How are you?”

I am sorry, baby Emily.
If there is something I should not have done but did ,
If there is something I should have done that didn’t,
I am sorry.
I am so sorry.

I am sorry I will never get to hold you
I am sorry I will never get to see you coo, smile, laugh and say Mama for the first time
I am sorry I will never get to brush your hair  or see you blissfully get dizzy as you spin in your whirly twirly dress
I am sorry I will never get to bring you to our breakfast picnics at the church parking lot
I am sorry i will never get to read to you the not-your-ordinary princess books that I have been secretly collecting even before Dadoy and I planned to have another baby
I am sorry I will never get to look at the 2014 family Christmas photo and say, “She was still so small here”.
I am sorry I will never get to do the many things I was looking forward to us doing together

I say goodbye to documenting my growing belly and finally introducing you to the world
I say goodbye to the plans of dressing you up as baby Princess Leia on a boring day
I say goodbye to the bahay kubo where you were supposed to spend countless hours with your Ate Raya
I say goodbye to the hand sewn baby dresses and ruffled diaper covers that I was going to make for you
I say goodbye to making “Go Aki!” banners with you for Kuya Aki’s jujitsu competitions
I say goodbye to our first Divisoria trip together when you reach your tenth birthday
I say goodbye to the priceless expression on your face when I tell you that I got us tickets to the concert of your favorite boy band

I wish you had the chance to meet your daddy. He is playful but firm. He will annoy you for his own entertainment, teach you things that I do not approve of and scoop you up and hug you tight when you are feeling low.
I wish you had the chance to meet your Kuya Aki. He was so looking forward to meeting you. He will make you be-not-sad-anymore invisible popcorn whenever he sees that you need some cheering up.

Well at least now, I can go to Megamall and learn how to ice skate with Aki and not worry if I fall.
I can now have that Thai massage that my body has been begging for.
Now  I can run again. I surprised myself when I enjoyed my runs with Franco. Now we can run and run and run and not care.
At least now I don’t have to deal with the discomforts that come with pregnancy.
I won’t be a zombie again as I pacify with a crying infant at 2AM.
Whoever said changing soiled diapers is fun, must be mental.
Unsafe sharp corners, picky eating, public tanrums and terrible twos. I won’t have to go thru all those anymore.

My life will go back to normal

But normal is not what I want.

Goodbye my sweet little angel.  Goodbye.

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PS I wrote this the day after we found out.
I did not want to post this initially. I try to veer away from posts that are too personal or are too depressing. This post is both. But when it was most painful, what helped me was reading other women’s experiences about their own miscarriage. If you are a grieving mother-to-be, tight tight hugs to you. The pain will not be there forever.

And in case you are wondering, I am feeling better. Much better. Not okay but better than days ago. I actually had not cried for 2 days until my friend Cye asked me earlier, “How are you?”

Please include me in your prayers. I just want to move one with my life but I still have to go thru some lab tests and possibly some treatments related to the failed pregnancy.

:) :( :) :(

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PS II

BIG BIG THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO READ, PRAYED, COMMENTED, EMAILED, SENT MESSAGES VIA FACEBOOK  OR SMS, OR EVEN BAKED CUPCAKES TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER. SUPER THANK YOU!

 

Aki’s Summer Project: The Ice Candy Store

Ola!

Yes, I may have lost my blogging mojo but I am logged on to WordPress now because Aki’s summer project is just so cute not to share.

 

So tell me is this sooooo cute or is this so cuuuuuute?

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Honestly, if you assign a peso value to the effort in buying the ingredients, the creativity to come up with new flavors, the labor that we put it in to make these babies , and not to mention, the electricity and freezer space, the measly 20 bucks that we earn on a good day is not worth all the hassle. But, seeing Aki beaming with pride every time he makes a sale, is beyond priceless.

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Aside from the value of hardwork, we also hope that through this project, Aki will master addition and subtraction.

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Work Prayer

Hello!

 

I just want to share a prayer that I read recently. This year, my goal is to be more prayerful. Read here for my 2013 and 2012 goals. I just finished reading the Power of the Praying Woman by Stormie Omartian. One of the prayers that I really liked is about work. Work can be a source of great stress or deep fulfillment. Hope this prayer will help you find the latter.

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My Four Year Old’s Favorite Books

Happy blogging anniversary to me!

Here are the books that my 4 year old is obssessed with. We, actually just him because I would rather read something else, can go read these books on and on and on and on.

My Puppy Is Born by Joanna Cole. We bought this book for only PhP5.00 at MCS Booksale. Aki’s evening prayer goes something like this. Thank you for giving Daddy Mxxxxxxx. Thank you for the special gift for Mummy’s office friends. Thank you for giving Ate a house. Please give my mummy a baby. Please give Tita Yana a baby. Please help the victims (of Typhoon Yolanda). Please make me a good and healthy boy. And (pause), give me a dog. Aaaaaa-men.

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And look what we saw on the last page. The previous owner of this book was a girl named Emily. It is a sign.
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Tacky and the Winter Games by Helen Lester.  Also got this for 5 pesos! It’s brand new by the way (san ka pa!).  We love the Tacky series. Tacky is an unconventional penguin. While his peers are very formal and conforming, Tacky is unique, clumsy and adorable in his own way. This is a great book to teach kids to love their own individuality.

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Shopping Guides from Toy Stores. Aki can spend countless hours daydreaming about the toys that he want. He even has this close-your-eyes-and-let-your-finger-show-you-which-toy-you’ll-give-me(as he directs my finger to his dream Beadman toy) game. Am just thankful that he is contented with just looking at the pictures. When we go to toy stores, he does not even us ask to buy him anything.

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Winnie the Witch by Korky Paul and Valerie Thomas. This is one book that I have been waiting to hit the Booksale shelves for months. Winnie loves her black cat so much but is having a hard time seeing him because her whole house is also black. She uses her magic to solve her problems. And just when she thought her problem is behind her, she has to come up with another solution again. The small details in the illustrations make this book a feast for the eyes.
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What are You Thankful for Today?

We had the most wonderful time when we visited Pepper, Mark and A at their beautiful cozy home. We were only supposed to pick up the little something Pepper made for me but we ended up chatting and eating for what felt like hours. It is refreshing to spend an afternoon with another couple for a change. Franco was not his usual KJ self because he and Mark had been friends even before we got married. It was also great to not mind the kids who were busy playing.

Here is the ballerina doctor taking Aki’s blood pressure. Hehe. After that short doctor doctor game, they spent the rest of the afternoon pillow fighting.

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Here is the little gift from Pepper.
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The Unappreciated DIY Viking Costume

Happy Halloween!

Hehe. Had I shared this entry 4 months ago, I would have started it with I am so excited to share blah blah but since we all know that this post is soo late, let me just say I hope someone finds this post helpful 8 months from now.

As early as summer last year, Aki kept bugging me about his Halloween costume. He had been watching How to Train Your Dragon. We have seen it for at least 20 times. I will complain once my eyeballs have fallen off from my eyesockets but for now, I can honestly say that I love this movie! And we are oh so excited for the release of HTTYD II this June. If you have not seen this movie, head to the nearest video store and get yourself a copy. Now! It is one of those rare movies that everyone in the family, regardless if you are 3 or 33, will enjoy.

And it is because of this movie that Aki wanted to be a dragon for Halloween. And not just any ordinary dragon, he wanted a 4-headed dragon costume! After much negotiations, we agreed to have a viking costume instead. Sometimes he looked at his viking costume with the same this-is-sooo-lame irritated expression that we see in teenagers. At some point, I wanted to make him a dragon katol (Franco’s idea not mine) to irritate him more.

My super excited viking..
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Don’t move smile for Mummy….
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Isn’t motherhood the most rewarding profession? He only stopped complaining when I told him that he’s hurting my feelings. Continue reading